More  humourous news clips from around the world, you can see them every
weekend on ITV's Teletext page 324.

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A  Malaysian snake-charmer emerged covered with small red bites after 21
days in a glass case filled with a brood of 6,000 scorpions.

Ali  Khan Samsuddin was trying to set a world record.  As he emerged the
door  was held open for him by Prime Minister Mahathir Mohamad's sister-
in-law Zaleha.

He  said:   "Thank  God  for  beinging  me  alive  from  those poisonous
creatures."

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There  was nothing unusual about a line of people waiting for ice-cream,
just the flavour - garlic.

"People  go  crazy  for this stuff," Rickli Gutierrez said at the annual
Gilroy Garlic Festival in California.

Other festival fare includes garlic egg rolls and garlic chocolate.  And
for  those  who  only  want to smell as if they have eaten some there is
garlic perfume.

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Reports  of  a  kangaroo  in  a  Swedish  forest sparked a new industry:
Kangaroo T-shirts, jewellery, and even cakes.

Tourist  spokeswoman  Renate Heidkamp said the craze began after several
reported but unconfirmed sightings.

But  no  zoos  have reported missing any marsupials and, in any event, a
vet  said a kangaroo could only survive until November when temperatures
plunge.

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A Swedish cancer patient came out of a kidney operation feeling fighting
fit  -  only  to  be  told a week later that the surgeon had removed the
wrong kidney.

"I could have died because of this mistake," Jan Johansson, 43, said.

Doctors  in Uppsala, 45 miles north of Stockholm, took over his case and
removed 70% of the affected kidney.  He now hopes to leas a normal life.

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A soldier who fled from the Army has given himself up after being on the
run for 27 years.

Joe  Lodge,  who  used to be known as Dougie, went AWOL as a 16-year-old
recruit from Park Hall training camp near Oswestry, Shropshire.

The  Army  said  he  would be returned to his original unit at Catterick
garrison and given an immediate discharge.

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A  US  security agent assigned to US Secrety of State Medeleine Albright
shot himself in the foot when he accidently fired his gun.

The  agent  was  checking his weapon, with the barrel pointed down, when
the gun went off.

The  incident  occurred soon after Albright arrived at the Sunway Lagoon
Resort near Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

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If  you  can pretend to play a guitar better than anyone else, you could
walk away with a real one.

For  top  prize  in  the  Air-Guiar  World  Championships in Oulu, North
Finland, on August 29 is a Fender Stratocaster.

Pretenders  to  world  mastery  in  the  art  may take the stage with or
without  background  music  -  but  they  are not allowed to play a real
instrument.

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A  plan  for  heating  homes in one of Sweden's largest cities is giving
cold  chills  to  some  residents  - authorities want to use heat from a
crematorium.

Critics  say the plan is "insensitive" and "an unnecessary way of taking
advantage of energy".

nonetheless,  officials  in  Helsingborg  are  enthusiastic about it.  A
similar set-up already operates in Boraas.

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Moving  white  lines just 2in could lop millions of pounds off Britain's
motorway maintenance bill, experts say.

Engineers  studying  road  wear found the worst damage was done by heavy
lorries following the same wheel tracks.

They  realised  that  by  moving the nearside white lines just over 2in,
drivers could be steered onto less worn areas, giving the motorway a new
lease of life.

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Once,  Reiko was a good dog.  But after the police dog bit officers once
too often, he was kicked off the force.

"He  once  was an asset, but now he is a liability.  He's never bitten a
citizen or a crook.  It's always been an officer," said Chief Bob Jones.

The  German  shepherd  will stay with his handler, officer Paul Smith in
Great Falls, Montana.

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Unruly  tourists  who  make  Florentines fume by wading in fountains and
having  picnics on the steps of the cathedral are to be given a handbook
of manners.

With  it will be a warning that ignoring the rules could being a fine of
up to £140.

Rules include no swimming or washing feet in fountains; no sitting right
in  front  of  monuments to eat, and no sleeping in sleeping bags on the
street.

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A picture is worth a thousand words - but not always in Hong Kong.

Police  often botch evidence by leaving on lens caps when taking photos,
a  court  heard, to the extent that forms include a box labelled "forgot
to take lens cap off" for officers to tick.

But  the defence disagreed:  "No-one, unless he's got the IQ of a wooden
plank, could possibly be that stupid."

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A  teenager  who  burst  into  flames after touching a mains electricity
cable left hospital - without his acne.

Darren Garside, 15, from Portsmouth, suffered severe burns as he rescued
a boy from a hole dug by workmen.

Darren  said:   "One  good thing came out of this - I used to have spots
all over my face.  Now the skin has peeled off and they've gone."

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Doctors  needed  help  from  a vet when a woman came into a US emergency
room with a 2ft lizard stuck to her chest.

When  the woman took the Savannah Monitor out of it's cage at a friend's
apartment, it bit her, grabbed her with it's legs and refused to let go.

After  speaking  to  a vet, staff at Newport Hospital injected it with a
sedative and it loosened it's grip.

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TV  chiefs  are  battling to restore a spirit of calm to the Teletubbies
after  the  departure  of  the  actor  who plays Tinky Winky in the cult
children's show.

Dave  Thompson claims he has been sacked because it's makers are at odds
with his "interpolation" of the role.

He  is baffled at a decision to drop him for apparently artistic reasons
from a show targeted at pre-school children.

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Men  have about 4bn more brain cells than women, Danish reserachers have
said.  but they have not worked out what men do with them.

Neurologist Bente Pakkenberg examined the brains of 94 people aged 20 to
90.

Asked  what  the  men  might be doing with the surplus, she said "It's a
mystery.   The  knowledge we already have shows that man are not smarter
than women."

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A  couple  scooped a £2.5m lottery win after a fortune teller user their
car keys to "see" the winning six numbers.

Gea  Jones,  from  bedeford,  Devon,  said she asked got Ron and Barbara
Martin's keys, "because you get vibrations which come from people".

The  couple  only found out they were millionaires two days later when a
friend checked the numbers on Teletext.

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A  bird fished a choice eel out of Tokyo Bay, dropped it on a power line
and  caused  a freak power black-out in 500 homes in Yokosuka, officials
said.

Tokyo  Electric Power Co inspectors found the 2ft eel charred on a 6,600
volt cable after the mystery black-out.

Officials  said  a  bird probably dropped the eel on the line, causing a
short-circuit which shut down the transformer.

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Dick